People are advising me to kick my wife out, or to leave, myself… and be on my own, and let her fend for herself.
I explain that we are still partners in parenting, and partners in getting out of debt, and partners in getting her through school.
That neither one of us can afford to move right now.
We are moving on with our lives, in the ways that we can… (we are both still pretty busy with daily life, kids, scouts, karate, school… etc.)
She has a boyfriend.
I’m socially awkward. (Not really. I just don’t know how to date, or even flirt. So, I just keep living my life, day to day.)
We do what we can…
She had someone last night advise her that she should kick me out, and make me pay spousal support, and child support…
She explained that neither one of us has the money to move out right now.
We have two cars, and both have payments… (among other debts).
She might be able to move out this fall (she really wants to be on her own for a while), and if she can make it work, she will get some cheap place and live a simple life.
If that happens, I’ll enjoy a slightly less crowded, slightly quieter house (I still have 4 kids… so, you know).
For the time being, she’ll take one of the cars, I’ll keep making payments… she’ll still have her cell phone (on the family plan), etc.
There is a lot that we still have to just keep doing for now, until she gets out of school and gets a decent income.
Had we not separated, the plan would have been to get her out of school, get us out of debt, and move into a better, bigger, newer, etc. house (we’ve outgrown this house, and have wanted out for a long time).
Now that we are separated, that is still the plan. Get her out of school, get us out of debt, and both of us move out of here.
When we divorce, they will split the debts down the middle, and pooling our resources now, we can get rid of them more effectively.
It’s a lot to try and explain to people, and I usually don’t go into all the details… I just say that we have an amicable separation, and we are working together on many things (like parenting, for example), and that we are both happy, and looking forward to the future.
People have a hard time grasping that this is really the case, I guess. They all try and hand us swords and say Go! Start cutting! Yay!
We aren’t here to fight. We’ve got some things to take care of, then we’ll be on our way.
- medhba likes this
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- gritch said: You’re a better man than I am. Gotta give you credit
- gritch likes this
- annajonzin said: Keep doing your thing, Scott. You’re a good guy.
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- bekaboo said: A lot of people are finding hems elves in similar situations in this economy. I think it says good things about both of you that you are handling this so well. But I’m sending hugs, because I know it’s still got to be stressful. And no one’s business.
- bekaboo likes this
- boobill said: Feel for you buddy. Best advice I can give is keep it amicable. A fight will cost you both.
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- jscottwilson posted this